Mental Health Pandemic Pointers

This week I have worked to regain my footing and resume providing counseling services to the people on my caseload via telephone. Those that know me well, know of my disdain for talking on the phone. Written word, whether email or text, is my preferred mode of communication, but face to face communication is a second. I’ve realized this is because I am unable to see or convey body language on the telephone which is such a significant piece of total communication. Inability to read emotional cues leaves much to be misinterpreted. However, I am incredibly grateful for the ability to continue to work during this time as I am aware that many others aren’t so fortunate. My discomfort quickly dissipated as I took my familiar seat as Therapist and focused my attention on the needs of others. There have been several topics that I’ve discussed with most clients this week that I need to apply to myself. It is my hope that in sharing these tidbits of information that someone else could benefit as well. Disclaimer, these are simply my own insights and recommendations to implement as you choose.

1. How ever you’re feeling about current circumstances is valid. Difficult emotion is not to be avoided…We must feel it to heal it. I learned in a recent training for Emotionally Focused Therapy that, as mammals, our emotions are simply internal signals bringing attention to our current state of connection to the herd (i.e., significant others). Our connection to our herd is vital for survival. Our herd includes various combinations of spouse, children, extended family, friends, employer, coworkers, church congregation, and community to name a few. When our connection is threatened, we feel anxious or scared. Many people feel much uncertainty and separation from their herds…so understandably there will be many strong emotions in response.
2. Isolation has the potential to breed disconnection (see #1) and thus increase preexisting depression or trigger new episodes. Be diligent in efforts to remain in contact with your people. While we are being urged to practice social distancing, our usual modes of connection have been disrupted. Use whatever resources you have available to you to reach out to seek and give support to your people. Call, text, email, video chat, social media, write a letter, send a card, or physically sit outside 6 feet or more apart and visit.
3. Be mindful of how much news you are consuming. While it is important to be informed, being flooded with a lot of fear-laced sensationalism can increase anxiety and sense of helplessness. Be selective with your source of news. Personally, I try to listen to the Governor’s daily press conference for factual and local information most likely to directly effect me.
4. Develop some type of routine for yourself and/or your family. While it doesn’t have to be rigorous, having some predictable expectation for the day provides safety and security. We cannot control what is going on in the world around us, but we can exert some control over ourselves and how we spend our days. Make a list of activities that provides a variety of responsibility and leisure. Small successes through out the day help us to feel accomplished and productive. Enjoy your family and do some of the things around the house that you’ve wanted to do for a while, but have been too busy.
5. Go back to basics. Make sure that you are getting plenty of quality sleep. Hydrate. Fill your body with nutritious foods. Exercise. Get outside for fresh air and sunshine when possible!
6. The narrative that you choose to replay to yourself and make sense of current circumstances is important. I know that not everyone is experiencing the same reality right now. There are some that are suffering more than others for an array of reasons…but there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Start small if you must and find something to be thankful for each day (e.g., It’s not 1993 and we have internet and cell phones, we have electricity). Having the ability to reframe negative experience with a positive spin changes your perspective, your mood, and your behavior.
7. It is a fact that no one knows when life will return to normal. We do not know when kids will return to school, when we will be able to eat in restaurants, when we can hug our friends, or when grocery shopping will no longer feel like a military mission. We do not know how bad this will get. All we can do is focus on today. If an entire day is too big, then focus on the hour or the minute if you need. As I often explain to people when tasks seem too big or too overwhelming…How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
8. No single person, aside from God himself, can put an end to our current hardship, but everyone can do something. Use whatever resources that you have or talents that you have been bestowed to reach out and help someone around you. My heart has been blessed seeing examples of people being a good neighbor. <insert the Mr. Roger’s theme song> Just your presence on social media can make a difference. Take a minute to look at your own social media profile. Are you spreading support and encouragement (yes, funny memes count) or are you adding to the negatively that is already so prevalent? I have loved seeing churches and individuals posting video devotionals or worship. Keep it up! The world needs more of that right now. Research shows the power of altruism (the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others) on the giver’s own mental and emotional health. Focusing on the needs of others and doing good for others benefits the giver just as much or more than the receiver.

Hopefully, some of these suggestions will be useful to someone out there looking for some direction on ways to cope. One of the health experts who spoke with the Governor yesterday said something to the effect of right now is a great time to work on being the healthiest version of yourself in defense of COVID-19. That message struck me as intensely meaningful and timely. Take advantage of this time to take inventory of all aspects of your health. Health encompasses much more than the physical. How are you really doing mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, socially, etc.? Come to an honest answer, create a plan, and ask for help from your support system if you need. Everyone take care out there!